Sexual Intimacy & Infidelity

 

Welcome back blog readers! I hope all is well.

In this week’s class we discussed Sexual Intimacy. This topic is quite an interesting one.

A common misconception that people believe about sexual intimacy is that sexual intimacy only takes place during sexual intercourse. However, most sexual intimacy takes place out of the bedroom. What I mean by this is that most intimate things revolve around emotional connection. For a woman to feel loved and pleasured she needs more from her husband than only sex. Women need to feel safe, appreciated, taken care of, loved, and to feel an emotional connection with their husband. Do not get me wrong, sex is just as important as the things mentioned above. Sex is a selfless act between husband and wife. It saddens me that now a days people see sex as a “me” act; that way of thinking has a lot to do with how sex is currently being portrayed. Pornography in all its forms (videos, music, novels, movies) has portrayed sex as a selfish act. An act where only one of the parties is being pleased and satisfied but this is not true, that is not what sex is about. “True” sex is when both parties are looking out for each other, where they are both making sure they are both being satisfied. With this said, sometimes is necessary for a person to “give up” something for the other person to be satisfied, hence, sex is a selfless act of love.

Back to the topic of pornography, like I stated earlier, pornography portrays sex as selfish love making. It is quite common for a couple to feel dissatisfied with their first time if one of the individuals are or have ever been involved with pornography. The viewing of pornography can affect a person’s view of sex, self-steam, and even the way they view the opposite sex. Pornography shows us that the only way of satisfying a woman is by penetration. However, as I stated earlier it takes more than penetration to sexually satisfy a woman. There is more than just emotional connection behind that claim. Science has shown that it takes longer for a woman to become fully aroused when compared to men. Men are very easy and relatively fast to arouse but women, women take a little more effort, and this is where pornography gets it wrong. Men need to spend more time before sexual intercourse to assure that their wife is aroused and IN THE MOMENT. Do not believe or follow the example pornographic material show us. Take the time to learn and explore sexual intimacy with your wife or husband.

Another topic that we discussed this week was infidelity. Infidelity has become more and more common nowadays, it seems like it is becoming a norm. Most people think that infidelity is only when a spouse or partner has some sort of sexual intimacy with another person. This is true, that is considered infidelity but there is more to it. Infidelity is also when a man or woman has some sort of deep emotional attraction with another person and when someone fantasizes about another person. Even though they are not physically having sex, they are having sex in their brain. That is just as bad. Even when people physically connect a lot of that connection is going on in their head. Infidelity can seriously affect relationship because it destroys the self-image of person who was cheated on. They will think that they are not enough and lose their self-steam. Infidelity is a common issue and just as with pornography people can easily fall in those destructive cycles. For those, who are wanting to change there are resources available such as counseling. People do not have to be stuck in an infidelity cycle or pornography addiction.