Divorce and family

 

What is up people, how are you all doing?

It makes me a little sad that this is the final blog for my class, but I hope that all of you enjoyed learning a little more about family and family “issues” for lack of a better word.

In this final blog I will be talking to you guys about divorces and remarriages. In this week’s lesson we looked at the different circumstances that cause marriages to separate. Some of the common circumstances are finances, relationship problems such as affairs and no-fault divorce. No-fault divorces becoming more and more common but first what is a no-fault divorce. A no-fault divorce is when a couple separates for no legitimate reason other than the fact that they do not want to be together anymore. Personally, I think that no-fault divorces are a bad thing because I think that couples should stick to the commitment that they made with their other person especially if kids are involved. When kids are involved, they are the ones that take most of the heat from the divorce. Their whole world turns upside down and they become really confused and could potentially grow resentment towards one of the parents. I have personally seen this with one of my extended family. They got divorced about 9 years ago because the husband decided that he did not want to be with my aunt anymore. This is a perfect example of a no-fault divorce. When they got divorced, they had 3 daughters and they were in their teens, so they were quite aware of what was going. However, they did not understand the reason as to why their dad had left the house and this caused them to treat and act very negatively towards the mom. From what I understand the daughters wanted to know the reason as to why the dad left and since there was not a valid reason the daughters began to blame the mom. This is an example of a divorce but can divorces be prevented?

Yes, divorces can be prevented but it takes a lot of work. In class we discussed how effective marriage counseling can, however, for it to work both partners need to be willing to put in the effort. My professor is a counselor and has shared many stories on how he was able to help in saving many marriages. I do not know if you have noticed but in the previous two sentences the word “effort” has been the key word. Now, I have luckily seen both sides of a divorce. By both sides I mean that I have a seen a family split, but I have also seen a family stay together. This is story is about another aunt and uncle that were on the verge of splitting due financial problems. The root of the financial problem was my uncle’s excessive drinking. He would spend most of his money on alcohol and would not leave enough money for food and bills. The wife was getting to the point where she could not go forward anymore because her and the kids were severely struggling. She pleaded her husband to stop drinking and seek help otherwise she would file a divorce and take the kids with her. This was a life changing situation; he sought out help and joined AA groups and did the 12 step programs in order to turn his life around. It took him time and lot of effort to leave the vice that had been holding him back for many years but with hard work and dedication my aunt and uncle were able to save their marriage and our now leaving very happily and are raising their kids in an alcohol free household.