Family Theories

Hi guys! Welcome back to my blog! I hope all of you are having a great 2021.

This week we discussed family theories, this week’s topic was quite interesting to me and I will say though these are labeled as family theories I am convinced that these theories apply to any relationship. I thought that these theories were super cool since I was able to analyze my family and relationships when thinking about the theories.

The theories that we discussed are Systems theory, exchange theory, symbolic interaction theory. Systems theory is a very simple theory in the way that it analyzes groups (family, couples) as a whole. Whole in the aspect that they are one working together. So, when we look at a family with our system theory eyes, we see the parents and children. We see that they all work together to make the family work. For example, the parents work together to nurture the kids into successful adults. Sometimes when there as problems in the family, let us say a father with a drinking problem. The mother stays in the marriage to protect the kids from the father. That would be a subsystem within the family group (system). To summarize, systems theory is a theory that explains how groups work together to keep the system working.

In exchange theory everything is like a trade. I found this theory to be the most appealing to me. I personally really like this theory and the reason why is because it shows how equality is important in relationships. Now, regarding family (parents and children) I do not think this theory fully applies so I am going to discuss it with relationships in mind. Exchange theory in a very simplified way is… “do the costs amount to the reward.” When I say costs, I mean time, money, emotional energy, intellectual energy, and effort. I personally belief that this is something to consider when weighing out an intimate relationship. You need to ask yourself, “is everything that I am giving to woman/man equal to everything that he gives me in return?” If you concluded that, “yes, this is worth every last bit of my time, effort etc.” then you my friend are on the right place, but if you conclude that you are not receiving the same energy back you might want to discuss it with your partner. That is something that I did this week. I “reviewed” my relationship with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. I thought that this is something that I needed to do since I have been seriously considering marriage. After “reviewing” my relationship I realized that I am being treated with the same energy and that she is worth every cost. Any who… exchange theory can help acknowledge inequalities or make you realize that you have it GOOD!

Symbolic interaction theory is also another theory that I found to be quite interesting because it focuses on the interaction (experience) itself. For example, a man might have been taught that marriage is bad as well as having children. If he enters a marriage with that mentality and as he is living the experience, he might realize what a blessing marriage and children can be. He may become enthusiastic about marriage; here, the experience had a greater impact than his personally beliefs. I think that this theory is super cool because the path is more important than the destination. For example, when we are in the dating stage of a relationship your goal may be marriage, but you will not know if he/she is the one until you go on dates with them. They may appear as a great person but only the experiences will support or contradict your opinion. The path to marriage can be so fun because you can meet wonderful people and create amazing memories with the person you love. I stand very close to this theory, I am a great advocate for truly living the experience and allowing yourself to be in the moment. Now, back to family… enjoy raising your kids. Obviously, I would hope that you hope to help them become a successful person someday but do not focus all your time on the outcome. Share an enjoyable childhood with your kids and love them as the years go by. As well as with your spouse, focus on sharing beautiful memories and on making them feel special. All the lovey-doveyness should not be left behind when you marry. That is something that you should continue to do for the rest of this lifetime!